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I always enter it naked. There is no point in wearing clothes because the primal act I am about to take part in is bereft of contrived and shallow appearance enhancing garments. Calmly, I walk towards the seat of relief where I shall enact this study in hunman endeavours. I place my buttocks on the aformentioned chair and start to squeeze. I huff and I puff, I gnarl and I fart. Screams of manly rage echoes through the building and reverberates into bone and marrow of every bystander that happen to pass the house where I expand my rectum to exhaustion. Finally, after an hour of spine shattering struggle I behold the enemy laying there, brown and defeated. A tepid whiff sweaps through my nostrils as I proceed to pick up the remains of my foe. It is firm, not squishy and soft, but just as I imagined: an elongated bowel worm of horrid proportions that seek to bloat my intestines and destroy me from within. To no avail, unfortunately, since I have conquered the foul and treacherous fiend.
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